38 weeks and counting, blurt.

Oh goodness baby two is almost here. I feel scared that I won't have the capacity to love another little person as well as I love Ada. Then I feel scared that I won't have the capacity to love Ada so well with another person to care for. I am getting tired and sore and evidently emotional. I think I must have been nervous about what kind of Mum I may be to Ada at the beginning. For the most part I am proud of my instincts and decisions and the priorities I have chosen as a Mum. It stretches me though. Ada is a wonderful, wonderful girl and when she is hard work I find it hard, that makes sense I guess. I worry that I find it too hard. That finding it hard is a signal to further issues. Experience tells me that when things are very difficult, say she is sick, I have more reserve and patience than on an off day, say when she is just being contrary. Commonsense tells me that others feel nervous about number two and they are amazed at how their heart opens up. I must be worrying needlessly. The hard days are just that. Hard days. I am trying not to presume there will be many in the coming weeks, but I like to plan ahead, make contingency plans, feel prepared. Babies are more unknown than that, that's what makes this all a challenge. An unbelievably worthy, worthwhile, rewarding challenge.