A new found blogger Joanna Goddard at Cup of Jo recently posted about a blog post they read at Hands Free Mama, (ahh it made me tear up) she had read that they couldn't get out of their heads. I read both posts and found the same thing. Read it read it!
The 6 words are so simple, "I love to watch you play. I've heard about and I try to give specific and descriptive praise to Ada rather than a generic 'good girl', the idea being that they build a big full picture of what is 'good'. But the phrase"I love to watch you play" lets the kids know they have your attention in a way that just doesn't matter how 'good' they are. It seems to me that kids won't always want to be good, or smart or talented or patient for you, but they desperately want your attention.
I love the freedom given by just enjoying someone. I tried to rephrase this thought, but this Joanna at Cup of Jo is a real writer so listen to her put it succinctly here:
"imagine if someone said it to you—for example, think of the difference between "You're a great karaoke singer" and "I love to watch you sing karaoke." Doesn't the latter make you feel much more confident and free to goof around and not be perfect? All you have to do is sing karaoke, you don't have to be a genius at it. It's remarkable how much those words take the pressure off. It's funny how even well-meaning praise can shut someone down and make them feel critiqued."
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